Thursday, February 17, 2005

How to Fool an Old White Man out of $68 million

The 2002 NBA Draft was not a bright one for the Duke junior Carlos Loozer.  Carlos left the Duke Basketball tradition early expecting to hear his name called in the first round of the draft.  After the first round came and went, the Cavs finally picked him up in the second round as the 35th pick.  It was quite obvious Loozer was upset as almost every team passed up on the Dukie.  Loozer apparently used this shunning as motivation to work hard and become one of the NBA’s premier PF’s...or did he? 

Loozer played well his first year for Cleveland and put up decent numbers for a rookie.  In his sophomore effort, Loozer finished the season with a 15 pt 11 reb average for the Cleveland Cavs while earning an undeserved spot to the Olympic Team. 

So after recently seeing Sports Illustrated name Loozer the “Who’s Down” player in the NBA, I got to thinking that maybe..he was never really a star this whole time.  Maybe he wasn’t Silas’ little rebounding prodigy.  And I really got to think..well he definitely isn’t worth the extra $20+ million he took to bolt Cleveland.  And then it hit me.  Maybe..Loozer IS a second round draft pick. Maybe all those scouts knew something we didn’t. 
But what made Loozer such a hot commodity when he proclaimed to be on the market this past year (while screwing a blind man in the process)?

The answer is simply this: LeBron. 

Laugh all you want, but let’s look at Mr. Drew Gooden.  Yeah, I am sure you guys remember him as a pretty solid collegiate start at Kansas.  But after wearing two uniforms in his first year as a member of the Association, it was obvious Gooden was not a star by any means.   After reading Loozer win such a deserved award, I took a look at both Gooden’s and Loozer’s stats and they are pretty much the same. 

Hmm..something doesn’t add up does it.  Well, call me crazy but I think it was LeBron who in fact made both Loozer and Gooden an above-average star. 

In analyzing the current Cavs lineup, I don’t know if they want too load up too much talent around the King.  Now, I agree we need a scorer (c’mon Redd, c’mon), but that might be it if we can keep this team in tact.  The more stars you tack on the more egos come into play.  Maybe all this team needs is an AVERAGE PF like let’s say…Drew Gooden.
Gooden or Loozer..does it really matter?  With Z and Lebron able to play the big role do you need a true star at PF? 

You know as I see Loozer doing worse and worse over in Mormon country and I think I might be right.  I don’t think Carlos was ever anything more than a second round pick. 

Gordon - if you could only see Loozer now being benched you’d be proud..

But is the King really that powerful of a presence?  Well, SI thinks so as their new cover shows a pic of the Chosen One with the words ‘Best Ever?’ across the front. 

So another question remains: Will Gooden jump ship as well?  Will he take his 15pts 10rb and maybe one up the shady Loozer?  Honestly, I think Gooden’s found a home and boy I hope he learned a great lesson in life - that money aint everything.

Oh and one more thing:
Maybe the city of Cleveland won’t need to save up their batteries for March 15.  Maybe we can all just sit there and smile knowing he was in fact just average this whole time and the Cavs really got the better end of the deal.  Hmm...  

Has Boozer just been average this whole time?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Neither Loozer (I'll humor you and use your nickname) nor Gooden will ever amount to anything more than role players.  You should say thank you to Loozer and put the money into upgrading your point guard(s).  That will take some pressure off Z and the 'Best Ever' (more humoring), and give a reliable third option when the aforementioned are double teamed.  But be careful, don't go out and buy an ego to disrupt this team.  

Anonymous said...

Boozer unfortunately follows in a long list of great college basketball players from Duke who just don't have the talent to be a star in the pro game - Hurley, Laettner, Cherokee Parks, Brand, Deng, etc.  It shows that fundamentally sound players don't always make it in the NBA now because it depends much more on size and strength than dribbling and passing abilities.  

Note: I'm leaving Grant Hill out of my list b/c he was hampered by injuries and excelled when healthy.

Anonymous said...

This doesn't take much basketball sense to figure out.  On the Cavs, LeBron demands double teams.  Z demands double teams on the block.  This leaves open areas for good hustle players to get 15 footers, layups inside, and offensive boards.  That is what Loozer did.  He made the hustle plays.  So can Gooden.  

But you know what?  Maybe Loozer knew what all those scouts did too- he was really just a second round pick who happened to play with the King.  He knew it was his one chance to fool the world and get paid.  Good for Loozer.  While LeBron is winning rings in Cleveland, Loozer can take his extra $20 million or so and remain a true loser on a team with no shot to win the title.  And we will take all that money we saved and invest in cheap, athletic power forwards and great shooters (ala Michael Redd).

In conclusion, let me say thanks to Carlos Loozer.  Your greed will make winning titles in Cleveland happen sooner.

Anonymous said...

Save up their batteries?  Cleveland too?

Brian from Philly.

Anonymous said...

A few predictions before I go...

*Silas proves that his teams always play better in the second half of the season.  Cavs win the division and handily beat the Bulls or the Pacers in the first round.  If we get Orlando, I see the Cavs moving on, if we get Detroit, I'm not sure but the home court adavantage would help.  I don't see the Cavs beating the Heat, but I'll be happy if they even get that far.

*  King James gets snubbed for MVP, hopefully for Nash, not AI.  Still, Bron finishes the year averaging 26 pts, 9 assts, 7 bounds and 2.5 steals.  He announces his intentions to stay in Cleveland and renegotiates a year early, signing for ten years of sheer pleasure in Cleveland.  His only wish... that Z stick around for a few more years and...

*Z takes a paycut to get Redd or Allen on the squad and guarantee himself a few more All-Star appearances and a few rings to boot.

*Snow and Pavlovich get dealt for some more depth in the post.  Goodbye to Dajuan and Diop, thanks for playing fellas.  Love Tractor.  Love Varejao.  Love Jackson too.  I;ve heard that he works hard.  I hope the team can give him time and see if he won't surprise us.

*Cleveland is renamed LeBronland.

*Keith Dambrot and the Zips shock the world in '06 as Dru Joyce and Romeo Travis lead Akron to the Final Four.  They lose, but the Cavs draft Joyce and Travis, hire Dambrot as an Assistant and reunite the National Champion St. V-M Irish.  

Ak-K-Rowdy... home of Swenson's and Lebron James

Anonymous said...

1.  I heard that you set up this blog from a mutual friend.  I love this stuff.  Lebron gives me a reason to wake up in the morning.  Oh, did youh hear that they're moving Lebron's court appearance for a $15 million lawsuit from 4/26 to 4/28?

2.  Before I get into Boozer, I just want to point out that you failed to point out some of Northeast Ohio's great sport memories over the past ten years.  Lest we forget the Cleveland Crunch's three NPSL championships, or the Akron Aeros Eastern League Championship in '03.  Come on... those memories are priceless.  And if you haven't caught my sarcasm yet, then you must have been at that Crunch cmapionship in '99... in which case, I feel sorry enough for you.

3.  I think Boozer's problem is leadership.  Maybe the Jazz forgot to mention in contract negotiations that they expected Carlos to take a leadership role on that club, not just sit on all that cash and convert to Mormanism for the polygamy.  When you don't have Z and 'Bron leaving you unguarded in the lane 75% of the time, your stats and your confidence take a hit.  While most of the league is salivating for the chance to play with Lebron (let's hope Ray Allen or Redd drool the most) Boozer left a team that will win multiple championships in the next 5 years for freaking isolation, mormans, and another rebuilding process.  PLaying with LeBron makes players better.  Whoever thought that Drew Gooden and Jeff McGinnis could be thought about as franchise players.  Too bad Eric Snow can't get along with his coaches, or work on his shot like J-Mac.  LeBron has sparked a desire in these guys that they haven't felt since college.