LeAll-Star Game Replacement

Jameer Nelson is likely out for the All-Star Game and possibly for the entire season. So besides the effects on Orlando's championship aspirations, this also has major implications for the All-Star game. Namely, David Stern gets to pick his replacement. Last year, Commish Stern picked Ray Allen to replace the oft-but not as oft as Gilbert Arenas-injured Caron Butler. This year? Stern has his choice between equally-shocking snubbed guards Jesus Shuttlesworth (aka Ray Allen) and the King's Advisor (aka Mo Williams). I know this is the Ohio LeBlog and that here at the LeBlog, we are shameless in our promotion of the Cleveland Cavaliers (except Sasha Pavlovic, who despite his improved offense, proves once again that being tall doesn't automatically make one a good defender). But here's an open letter to Commish Stern, asking... no begging, that he choose Jesus Shuttlesworth for this honor. (I recognize that he could also choose Rajon Rondo, but let's try and keep things simple, OK? OK.)


Dear Commissioner Stern,

Congratulations on your 25th Anniversary as NBA Commissioner. Also, congratulations on covering up the rampant steroid use in the NBA. Amare Stoudamire, Darius Miles, and countless other players who miraculously recovered from injuries that would have killed any non-steroid-using human being are great assets to this league and I commend you for your work. I love the 82-game season and the three month long playoffs that provide us with professional basketball 9.5 months a year. Without steroids, these guys could probably only play 7.5 months a year. So thank you for greasing the palms of Congress to turn the other way so that I can have two more months of the NBA.

On to the issue at hand. You have an important decision to make in the coming weeks. Jameer Nelson was injured recently and likely will not play in the All-Star Game. I am writing to humbly ask that you choose Ray Allen of the Boston Celtics and not Maurice Williams of the Cleveland Cavaliers for the following reasons:

• Ray Allen is an incredible actor. He Got Game is my favorite Spike Lee "joint" of all time. I hope that Lee makes a sequal when Ray Ray retires about Jesus Shuttlesworth dealing with his own NBA retirement. Ray's acting abilities will be a great addition to the East All-Star squad. Mo Williams has never acted in his life and his selection would deny fans in Phoenix the opportunity to see a legitimate actor drain threes all night.

• Allen's All-Star window is closing, while Mo's is just opening. In a few year, Allen will be a TNT or ESPN analyst. Mo will be vying for this game every year. Show the young guy that he needs to work harder and reward the veteran having a career season.

• Allen is an NBA Champion. Mo Williams saved a bunch of money on his car insurance with GEICO when he called while staying at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

• Allen has never played with LeBron James before. Mo Williams gets to play with him all the time. Give the man a chance.

Mr. Stern, please heed my words. I assure you that I have no ill intentions. I would never wish fatigue on another Celtic going into the second half of the season. I would never assume that a secondary snub would light even more fire under Mo's behind. I would never think that a few extra days of rest could really benefit a guy like Mo who has a few nagging injuries. I would never hope that a week of parties and nightclubs would wear down a 30-something Allen who has 4 or 5 more months of basketball. I am rational and compassionate, so I would never point out that a meaningless, glorified pick-up game is just another chance for injury, and that I would rather Allen take that chance than Mo. And I would never tell Mike Brown to play Garnett, Pierce, and Allen heavy minutes while Mo Williams sits on his couch, sipping on some scotch and icing his knees and back.

No, Commissioner Stern, I'm just looking out for the league.

Very Truly Yours,
LeMarc (I swear that's my real name and not an homage to LeBron James, of whom I am clearly not a fan or I would have recommended Mo Williams, right? Right.)